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The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson
When Moe's "evening rush" comes into the bar one night, he tells his customers that they are responsible for 91% of all traffic accidents in Springfield. This prompts Moe to hold a pickled egg drawing to see who will stay sober and be the designated driver ("whoever draws the black egg, stays sober tonight." He also remarks that this is how they picked the Pope). However, Barney, the most unlikely one, draws the black egg and therefore becomes the designated driver. However, while of his friends enjoy drunken antics, the Duff van arrives at Moe's with a bottomless mug of icy cold beer for Barney. Barney has an outburst, saying that he is the designated driver, and Duff Man remains at the bar to party with the drunks. Then Barney drops off Lenny, Carl and Homer at their homes, each of them suggesting a nonsensical destination (which Barney refers to as "sweet, beautiful drunk talk"). Barney promises an inebriated Homer that he will bring his car back the next day, but this proves not to be true. Two months after Barney drops Homer at home, the car has still not been brought back. Homer has been putting up signs, which Moe says is a lost cause. Then Barney arrives in the trunk of a limousine, completely hungover with no recollection of the last two months (except for "giving a guest lecture at Villanova ... or maybe it was a street corner!"). Homer then rides angrily off on a scooter to pick Bart and Lisa up from school. Homer proceeds to construct a new car out of a mattress and other various parts from the garage (with Marge knitting him seat belts). However, Lisa bursts in with a letter from New York City, saying that Homer's car is parked in the burrow of Manhattan and that he needs to pick up his car in 72 hours or it will be thrown into the East River. Homer doesn't want to go to New York due to a very bad experience years ago (so bad that Homer even mentioned that he hoped that the chapter of his life was closed for good when telling them why he hated New York City) where, when attempting to find a coat outlet for an irregular coat, he had to stop at New York City and paid a photographer some money for a picture, only to discover that he was jiffed out of his money, and later had his briefcase stolen by a Police Officer who he tried to report what happened, and ended up having his wallet and hot-dog stolen by a street thug and a pigeon, respectively while he was watching an electronic billboard and had trash dumped on him from an apartment denizen, and was forced to run for his life when he accidentally threw a banana peel at a pimp and tried to escape via a fire exit ladder, but ended up falling into a manhole cover due to the ladder coming loose and attacked by CHUDs. But because travel fare is so cheap, he reluctantly agrees on the grounds that he can get his car and leave, as well as burning his wallet to ensure that New York doesn't steal it. When Homer arrives in New York, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie go off to explore the city while Homer goes to the World Trade Center, finding his car full of tickets and a boot on the wheel. Homer tries to pry the boot off with his hands, but a loud bystander tells him he needs to call the phone number on the boot. After the phone call, Homer learns that he needs to wait by his car for a parking officer between the hours of 9AM and 5PM. He hungrily devours Khlav Kalash out of a passing cart and drinks can after can of crab juice. However, he then has to go the restroom, and the man driving the car tells him to go to the top of the tower. Homer doesn't want to leave his car, but it soon becomes too much to bear. He rudely cuts in front of everybody in the line but upon reaching the top floor, the bathroom is locked and out of order. Homer then races out of the first tower and goes to the top of the second tower, where he relieves himself. However, once he finishes, he sees the parking officer, who hadn't shown up for the whole day, giving him a $250 ticket for "failure to wait by vehicle." Infuriated, Homer drives out of the World Trade Center with the boot still on his tire. When he realizes that he won't be able to get very far, he distracts a construction worker and uses his jackhammer to pry the boot off his tire. However, it then gets stuck on his foot, so he kicks the front of his car until it comes off. At this point, Homer has completely wrecked his car and is speeding off to get his family. Meanwhile, the rest of the family has watched a Broadway musical and visited several ethnic neighborhoods, concluding with a carriage ride in Central Park. Homer speeds through bridges and ponds to get to his family, who jump into his car and leave as fast possible. They are driving behind an open garbage truck, causing used syringes and fast food packaging to fly in Homer's face. When Lisa asks Homer if they'll ever come back to New York, he remarks, "We'll see, honey ... we'll see." Category:Episodes Category:The Simpsons Episodes